Late, Late Night Blog

Late, Late, Night Blog.

Today was pretty interesting and fulfilling. I suppose I am just taking it one day at a time right now releasing the old and coming into my own slowly but surely. I am removing a lot of the blocks that I have inside. I went off on Jennifer yesterday because she touched some touchy subjects, but she will never understand. I think I need understanding people right now and no one telling me whose responsibility is what? I know I am responsible for myself and for me to analyze something Ill need to express about it to someone that understands. Fortunately, I picked up a book about security so that I won’t let just anything into my life or into my computer. I will review it tomorrow.

I started off my day by waking up around 2pm. I don’t know why I woke up so damn late, but I was tired. I guess it was from chatting with Kauket the whole night. Kauket is a woman I met on the awakenings site and she is a Pisces Dragon that has a lot of the same interests as me. Very nice, not really a girl I’d go for physically, but she is mentally there. She wants to become an animal trainer and that’s hot. I want to become a dolphin trainer for a while. But who knows, I change my mind every three seconds, but I’ll make it somehow. Umm, she is very open, light hearted, loves to laugh, and give me hugs through the internet. I find it fantastic that she is such a bouncy girl. She loves Egyptian, Japanese, and other types of culture just like me. Umm, we’ll see how it goes, my higher self is only going to attract what and who is best for me. I still have to pay attention to what’s in my heart because I deserve the best. Especially in the physical realm, I will just have to do what I like and the money will follow.

After waking up, I ate some hot dogs, watermelon and drank a cup of ice water. It was very tasty and a pleasant moment. I think the best times in my life are when I am eating food because I am giving to myself and no one else. I’ve been doing that most of my life without any acknowledgment but it won’t happen again though. I just have to find out what’s best for me so I can do my best in this lifetime. Ok, I am always diving into something else besides the main topic of my stories. After eating, I meditated for a while and focused on breathe, showered, and made up the bed. I didn’t read that much but Kandace and I ended up going to the library for a while until around 9pm.

I ended up checking out Haiku’s and Japanese housing. I really will get a Japanese house and Japanese everything. I really love that culture and I want the best for myself and no one else. I don’t see why people see it as being self-fish, but the stronger and more independent I get the better I am. I always think of giving myself to do things for free. I forget I have a college degree and I don’t need to do anything for free. All that damn education and I am here just moping around, I have tons of work to do for the better. I won’t just allow anyone to just control me and boss me around with their unintelligent minds. I do sometimes, ask people to think for me, but I am always used helping others I just don’t remember how to give to myself which is horrible but oh well. I am learning and will continue to learn because I am doing not feel guilt. “THIS CANDLE SMELLS DELICIOUS”.

I explored the library and looked at books about Photoshop C2, Web Design, Computer Security, Internet Security and other things like that. I only checked out the Web Design and Internet Security with my temporary Library Card. Oh, yea I am going to receive one in the mail and that will be fun after I get it. I am going to load my computer with a bunch of songs. I still have more to download as well. I also looked into Runner’s Magazine, Traveler’s Magazine, The Writers Magazine so that I can gain some writer’s tip. It was the August Issue and that means August is just right around the corner. I better start writing some articles, before I am dying of starvation. I was attracted to this Song writing book but I couldn’t check it out because it’s not that important. The library became my sanctuary and there is nothing that will take me away from it. Computer access, all you can read information, and lots, lots more. Kandace checked out a bunch of Cd’s to download onto her computer. As long as she doesn’t try to sell them, I think its ok with her. I have torrent spy and MP3 Rocket.

We finally arrived home after a thunderstorm hit. I am such a scary cat when It comes to lightning. I spontaneously ran to the Kandace’s car but she wouldn’t run to let me in. I don’t know why I have such a phobia when it comes to lightning, but I do. I only like them when I am indoors or something. After arriving home, I lit some candles, meditated for a while and then cooked some chicken, rice, and green beans. I did a very good job. After that, I just pretty much backed up music, photos, and documents on just incase this thing goes wild or something. But I am going to prevent it from doing such a thing and do my best to maintain it’s decency. Today was a fulfilling day, and now I am going to focus on the things I truly love and stop taking myself from that. I love very unique things and I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Why, do I try to fit in? I am not sure. Oh I need to write a journal entry about why I am so damn angry. Lol. I really am an angry little rat but that’s fine. Sometimes, I say I am going to do things and don’t do them, that what frustrates me the most I suppose. I am just going to have to get better at this self-disciplined. But my days are always filled with information gathering. I just need people to fund it. I forget that I have to give back to the world, but there is always time to start it.

I don’t even know what I am going to do tomorrow. But I’m sure it’s going to be fulfilling. AHH!!! I have to start experiencing things instead of just whizzing by it or I am not going to get anything done. It’ll be nice and fantastic once I am able to achieve this. I do things pretty quickly, so it’s not going to be that bad. Thesauruses are wonderful books and I know that I will be able to make successful poems once I am able to achieve self mastery. I oughta work on my crystals tomorrow or something. Meditate into them and write down my thoughts with my amazing pens and pencils. :D