I dove into my mind a little bit just to see what's going on. Why do I feel stressed even though I am living an ideal life right now. Hardly any stress, warm clothes, food, and shelter.
My bills are practically paid for just by working at this new job teaching English in Korea.
During the mind dive I focused on why I feel scattered. I tend to organize my thoughts and put them in to glass boxes and observe them. In the fun box I saw random things like going on adventures, playing video games, and drawing. I notice that these fun filled activities weren't finished though. The drawings had missing pieces and the video games weren't played to the last level. Yea, maybe my lack of grounded-ness and being mentally scattered is affecting some of my happiness for now, but it'll get better through time
Then I had a random thought session. I saw a glass with beads of water next to it. A fly was trying to get in but it couldn't. This fly wasn't an ordinary fly but it had sparkling wings. This visual only lasted for a few seconds.
I had another visual of being surrounded by several layers of glass. The room was completely white and empty but the sun was in the sky. I don't know why I was in this glass but the warmth of the sun kept me sane in that box.
Afterwards,I saw my self in a tiny room where the real grass covered the floor in a complete white room. I felt the soft grass under my feet while wearing pajamas pants. How comfortable!
So after analyzing my thoughts I feel confined a little but still feel warm inside. I know that the sun is always shinning and there is many new experiences out there for me. I may put myself in these see through glasses, they will easily break with a nice kick or punch. I will be ok, I've always been ok. I just have to place pleasant thoughts into my head. It's going to be a long winter.
I often wish a woman with a gorgeous voice would just sing to me and sing to me often.
That's all. It's not as poetic as I want it to be but I guess this will do. At least I am writing a little again. :D
