Good Work Jamaal!!!. I am congratulating myself because I woke up around 8:30 a.m. today just like yesterday. I went to be around 11:30 pm., I picked those hours to go to sleep and wake up because I’ve read in a Fung Shui book that if you go to sleep during the hour of the RAT (11pm-1pm) You are more than likely to get a better nights rest and your cells will rejuvenate a lot faster during those hours. The hour of the dragon is between 7 am – 9am, during that hour I meditate, stretch, and gather some of that early morning energies from the Dragon. So far It’s been very fulfilling and I am proud of myself for becoming more self-discipline as I unravel myself from the negative thoughts that are holding me down. I deserve a change for the better and I will do the best I can with this.
Last night before I went to sleep, I read a little booklette about the 7 days mental diet. I am supposed to keep track of my thoughts and never dwell on negative thoughts, or I will have to start over. That means anyone that creates the disturbance in the force for 7 days will go unacknowledged, I am pretty self-defeating at times and hold myself back a lot from thinking to much so other people adding to that equation will be set on fire in my mind. But I possess so much talent; if I let it go to waste by thinking crappy all the time, this life time will have been a waste.
Yesterday I went to the library and read on some good materials and browsed through a few model webpage’s, writer’s information, and other things that were useful. My location is inhibiting from shinning, so if I am able to find another location to thrive off of, Ill is sure to use my talents wisely. The first and most important step is to develop a healthy schedule, because I banned myself from the T.V. because as I ascend it gets harder to watch these days. There is a bunch of garbage going on, so lately, I’ve been writing poems, running, reading, and stretching, enjoying nature to enjoy my time. I am developing a dialogue with my spiritual guide name Molt Wood; he is supposed to be my highest guide. So, I chatted with him a couple of times and he is pretty funny at times, it’s either my imagination or him. Its fun none the less; there is just a so many surprises in life. He yells at me when I get down on myself, it’s hard being a Virgo at times. But from what I was told we are suppose to run the world!
What shall I do today? Oh I decided to go into writing and modeling. I am gifted in both and will try my best to be acknowledged for my diverse mind which I feel is far different from a lot of folks. I really don’t call myself a southerner although I lived here for the majority of my life; I’ve traveled to many places and haven’t spoken to anyone in the south about deep subjects. The main topic is weed or black suppression, something useless like that. So if the southerners I’ve spoken with aren’t going to provide me with any mind stimulation, books and magazines will. Speaking of books, I’ve read this therapy book for writers. I have to start taking myself seriously as a writer and appreciate my works because they are going to change the world someday. As a child I was never really able to express myself because loud people that talks about nothing like to talk over me. That is why I learned to tap really fast, and involved myself in strategic gaming. Now I am able to read the dictionary as freely as I want to learn new words and develop my vocabulary. I like keeping things simple by letting the words flow peacefully.
Since I am on this keeping positive diet, I have to stay focused on the music I like, and constantly play music, search for employment that I like and no one else. I have to stay in-tuned with my Anime, Crystals, Nature, Beauty, and everything that makes me smile at all times. If not they aren’t needed in my life, because all that matters is my well-being during this time. Video games really clear my mind and things that’s smell good as well. The Orcas, Oceans, Sea Creatures, Dolphins, and Acoustic Guitars, Japanese culture, Samurais, Philosophy, and beautiful women with nicely shaped bodies. I am a quiet guy that really doesn’t like to speak much unless something sparks my interest. Usually it has to be about space and astronomy I look at anyone peacefully. Mangas are my favorite, especially the ones about games because the kids on there are trying to get stronger and help out their friends. That is wonderful to me; I have been a lone wolf for a while now. Even though I have friends that helped me, I am able to just take some of their thoughts and leave the rest. I don’t think anyone can handle the full me, because I am very passive and when someone shows an ounce of weakness. I just don’t bother with them anymore I suppose.
Astrology and Chinese zodiac is pretty amazing to me, Tarot cards, Pendulums, Shamanism, Buddhism, anything that involves taking your shoes off and putting my toes in between sand, viewing the ocean is the best. Traveling has been my biggest thing, although I travel a lot more mentally than physically. Soon I will have both since my positive thoughts will dwell upon being free. My moon will protect me, speaking of moon, I think it’s a new moon either today or tomorrow so I am going to get some creative energies. I am going to have to write my thoughts about the future today or tomorrow and create a poem or two about it. That would be fun.
The highlight of this little blog, journal entry, or whatever is about thinking positive and I have to track it. When I write, I track it better which will make me an abundant person filled with attractive things. If people are dwelling on the negative, all I have to do is become a silent observer and do not have to accept what they are saying. I am great at observing, so people need to watch out what they say around me or it can backfire. I am sensitive to sound, smell, touch, and site.
My animal guide for today is a Porcupine and its message is telling me!!!
“Porcupine has appeared in your reading today to bring a message of innocence and trust. Although Porcupine can throw quills when cornered, he is gentle, loving, and non-aggressive. Is there an area of your life that need Porcupine energy? Have you lost the ability to trust?
Yes, I have lost the ability to trust. I hardly trust my family with any information how I can trust strangers out there unless I pay them. That is why I blog, I trust that I am getting through to people to help express how they feel. I am full of expression and not even getting paid for it. But people are going through all kinds of garbage in their lives. I seem to be the only one that likes to submerge myself in knowledge and wisdom, while staying physically active everyday. Putting nothing but great food into my body that will allow me to grow into new levels, I guess people like me are pretty rare. Where are you guys?! Oh well, they will come if I think about it. Soon I will be able to learn from the great masters about how to gather energy from cosmic levels instead of having to eat. That’s it for today, laptop battery is dying. !”OH NO!”. I am going to read a book about conquering the world with size 13’s.
About Me
- Silent Eagle
- Someday I would love to write and publish a book. This is a place where I can practice, grow, and connect with others. Peek into my life and my life will reveal to you that we are not that much different. :)
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Silent Cooling Sensation
Very fulfilling day today. ....
What did I do? Sometimes I forget because I am always diving into something new. Writing has been a form of meditation for me albeit my mind is persistant at going off into the end of the universe with ideas. Oh well.
I woke up this morning to find myself very tired but I woke up to take ruby out. She was wimpering beggin me to take heroutside. I am actually waking up earlier these days instead of 2pm. I wake around 12am. YAY!. 11 am before that but oh well. It's a work in progress. My saying always goes, its not what time you wake up, its about what you are doing while you are awake. I spend most of my time in my waking days worrying about whats next when I should be in the present moment. I kick myself in the shins for always thinking to far a head. But I am visionary I can see into the future and into people's minds!
The more I become my true-self I find time whizzing by and I am able to do things a lot lot faster than I used to. I guess its because I am able to organize my thoughts and excute them properly. Nothing much went on through out today. I focused on my myspace page today. I work with it alot in order to explore myself. YEs exploring oneself is fun ( The spiritual way)!. My page used to be dull and I guess I was more focused on trying to attract a mate rather using other people's tatics than being myself. :P I notice I am not being messaged that much because of the fact I am being myself. Oh well, I guess the ones Ive been attracting aren't good for me anyway. Girls love to whine and complain about silly things, these days.
Myspace.com/jmonie02 for those that are interested.
So I made my girl friend the PEN. She is sexy and does whatever I tell her to do. Her ball point lets out a sexy ooze of black ink onto the nice silky paper on command. Thats my kind of woman! Welll enough of that. My space is fun if your able to work with the technology. I found a few new layouts for my page, which were very flamboyant, but who cares. I picked light blue with abstract figures on it . My spiritual powers is influenced by the wind and water. The water reflects the sky, and the sky heals. I see clarity when I look up to it. Very nice indeed, especially in parks. In the cities, the sky looks dull and smoggy. I hate that. I am a nature boy, many of my friends called me a flower child. I guess thats right because flowers have lots of power. I don't do the weed thing because I've known to many people with hyper brown yellow teeth. That is unattractive, I am the lover of beauty and a glass of water makes me high enough. I am naturally gifted with randomness so I dont need anything to trigger even more insanity.
I just feel the world can't keep up with a little free-spirited-ness !!. Speaking of that. I found a friend that I spoke with during college. I'll call her CASS because she is very eccentric and likes to talk. I found that we both like to write and my spirit moved me to send her a few notes. :P She is funny and outgoing. Sounds she is part of the mystical crew. She brought ferret as a pet which seemed mean because in one of her pictures he bites her. WEll I just posted on up of Ruby attacking me. Ruby does that sometimes , as if she is possessed. Spontaneously runs aorund the house and starts to nip everything. I guess she was bored and needed excitement but we can't do to much in our situation.
Hmm after working on the page I looked the book "Voices of knowledge" That is by far my favorite book. I recommened to anyone trying to find themselves. I forgot the author's name but its in my book list. Yea i am a philospher at heart. could you believe I made a C in that class. My teacher was a prick. I failed everything accept the final. I recieved an A on it, I did study alot and found philosophy very satisfying. Everyone had their beliefs and such which made the world go round. Those people made the world go round. Out of the box thinkers are the ones that rule the world. The dormant people believe in everything everyone else believes. That's why my god is the moon. She seems fun and controls the currents and our emotions. There is proof but I dont need proof that she is guiding me.
Today I had tuna in a can , pasta with tomatoe sauce and peanut butter jelly sandwhich. Flip the list around and that was breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :) I am creative when it comes to eating. Although I did eat some muffins and cake icing today. mmmmmmmm but i worked it out by doing crunches, pushups and other physical activities. I want to run tomorrow. Running is so much fun, thats how you get the real women! Being able to show them you can run up a flight of stairs without being tired is a true gift. ehhh hmmm *clears throat * "STAMINA!".... Lets not get all vulgar here.
I spoke with my spiritual guides today and they were checking on my spiritual energy while I was washing clothes. They told me my energy was all over the place and that I needed to focus on one thing at a time. :P I seriously have a problem, because my energy surges. I have a restless nature, there is so much to do during this life time.but in order to move forward with my life i have to master one thing. I decided modeling and writing was the two I would go after. PErhaps modeling, I can make a lot for standing around and looking half decent for the world. I truly want to be a movie extra. I do have some confidence issues at times. The photographers are confusing or want to much. Im like imma dude all i have to do is stand there and look pretty. :P DAMN IT! Other than that I don't know . I decided that I was going to work on my other myspace page I haave up and running for modeling. Ill set up the links to everything sooner or later.
I also was tempted to organize and edit every blog I have written. I wanted to read and see where my heart truely lies. I found that I hate MIS and deskjobs. Selling stuff is something I hate to do. I don't like to lie either, that dormants my healing abilities. I was considering going back into soccer but I want to see what else i can master. Who knows!. Ill probably be a famous random kid running around the tv screen. Im 6'4 1/2 so hopefully ill find some interesting work in modeling. HMMM......... This is long as hell..
I got to speak with my twin today. She is fun to talk to . Her birthday is just a day before mine and we are both on the same wave legnths is really fun to know that you have an exact replica running around doing the same things your doing but in a different body haha. The signs weren't very clear to me today from the heavens but I guess finding focus was the main message.
OOOH I watched the shows on on Rappers and their wives. Really crappy show.
I need to defintely comment on this. I think E or something, that channel that are obessed with celeberties. Those people actually make money talking about famous people. What a waste of time I think. Money, sexy and drugs causes problems unnecessary ones. The reason the t.v was even on, roomate figure happend to watch it. I noticed the rappers were making so much money and buying teeth, jewelry, cars , diamond shoes. Im like what the hell. They claim they are trying to save the world with their music, but its making everyone even dumBer. Im sorry I have nothing against it but its like why are you puttin on an act just to make money and thats not even you. Thats highly fake to me and I could never do something like that. They have all these kids and they are going to grow up thinking its ok to call women "bitches and hoes". Run around wanting this and that, without proper education. :( so sad! . And those people really think they made it life. Thats true but there is more. They made it in a realm with no true value. Kids are dying each day in the caves trying dig out diamonds. There are rappers rapping about it and still buy diamonds. 3 million dollars worth. If it were me, and I had that type of cash. I would defintely open up a school to help teach the true meaning of life. The way I would make my money is to use my creativity. Hopefully that will inspire younger generations to use positive outlets whether it be anger or happiness. Allow their spirits grow naturally and not artificially. 3 million dollars can go to books and faciilities so that the children grow up finding their niche in the world of creation. Our field trips will be going to sites like egypt, gallapagos island, crystal hunting, creating art, enforcing love one another. Perhaps thats my mission in life. No matter what I am going to be myself through the process the whole way. Staying healthy and in shape is apart of that process, especially associating myself with the right people constantly. Not call a woman out her name just for publicity. Come on now. :P oh well. Thats my view, very different and I am going to stick to it.
I remember the days when I got pissed. I would put in a fighting game whether it be street fighter or bloody roar and beat the "SHI*! out of the enemies because I was so pissed at the world at times. Very creative outlet in deed. I recieved many secret charcters and it allowed me to beat more ass lol.
Ok, Im out, I wonder what adventure I have tomorrow. Pray that I stay focused on one thing at a time. I had to put away 5 books that I was reading. Books are distrations to me because I want to learn it ALL. is. MWHAHAHA. I guess I do need to find a woman to distract me from taking over the world.
The word for today is Durable - Able to exist for a long time without significant deterioration also: designed to be durable.
Example:
Jamaal is a durable young man. He was designed to take on the garbage of the world and transmute it into holy light for the future of all.
Note to self:.. You created a book based on psychic protection, meditation,and the element WATER info for your enlightenment. USE IT.
EVIL LAUGH: MWAH HA HA ..... HA HAHAH!
What did I do? Sometimes I forget because I am always diving into something new. Writing has been a form of meditation for me albeit my mind is persistant at going off into the end of the universe with ideas. Oh well.
I woke up this morning to find myself very tired but I woke up to take ruby out. She was wimpering beggin me to take heroutside. I am actually waking up earlier these days instead of 2pm. I wake around 12am. YAY!. 11 am before that but oh well. It's a work in progress. My saying always goes, its not what time you wake up, its about what you are doing while you are awake. I spend most of my time in my waking days worrying about whats next when I should be in the present moment. I kick myself in the shins for always thinking to far a head. But I am visionary I can see into the future and into people's minds!
The more I become my true-self I find time whizzing by and I am able to do things a lot lot faster than I used to. I guess its because I am able to organize my thoughts and excute them properly. Nothing much went on through out today. I focused on my myspace page today. I work with it alot in order to explore myself. YEs exploring oneself is fun ( The spiritual way)!. My page used to be dull and I guess I was more focused on trying to attract a mate rather using other people's tatics than being myself. :P I notice I am not being messaged that much because of the fact I am being myself. Oh well, I guess the ones Ive been attracting aren't good for me anyway. Girls love to whine and complain about silly things, these days.
Myspace.com/jmonie02 for those that are interested.
So I made my girl friend the PEN. She is sexy and does whatever I tell her to do. Her ball point lets out a sexy ooze of black ink onto the nice silky paper on command. Thats my kind of woman! Welll enough of that. My space is fun if your able to work with the technology. I found a few new layouts for my page, which were very flamboyant, but who cares. I picked light blue with abstract figures on it . My spiritual powers is influenced by the wind and water. The water reflects the sky, and the sky heals. I see clarity when I look up to it. Very nice indeed, especially in parks. In the cities, the sky looks dull and smoggy. I hate that. I am a nature boy, many of my friends called me a flower child. I guess thats right because flowers have lots of power. I don't do the weed thing because I've known to many people with hyper brown yellow teeth. That is unattractive, I am the lover of beauty and a glass of water makes me high enough. I am naturally gifted with randomness so I dont need anything to trigger even more insanity.
I just feel the world can't keep up with a little free-spirited-ness !!. Speaking of that. I found a friend that I spoke with during college. I'll call her CASS because she is very eccentric and likes to talk. I found that we both like to write and my spirit moved me to send her a few notes. :P She is funny and outgoing. Sounds she is part of the mystical crew. She brought ferret as a pet which seemed mean because in one of her pictures he bites her. WEll I just posted on up of Ruby attacking me. Ruby does that sometimes , as if she is possessed. Spontaneously runs aorund the house and starts to nip everything. I guess she was bored and needed excitement but we can't do to much in our situation.
Hmm after working on the page I looked the book "Voices of knowledge" That is by far my favorite book. I recommened to anyone trying to find themselves. I forgot the author's name but its in my book list. Yea i am a philospher at heart. could you believe I made a C in that class. My teacher was a prick. I failed everything accept the final. I recieved an A on it, I did study alot and found philosophy very satisfying. Everyone had their beliefs and such which made the world go round. Those people made the world go round. Out of the box thinkers are the ones that rule the world. The dormant people believe in everything everyone else believes. That's why my god is the moon. She seems fun and controls the currents and our emotions. There is proof but I dont need proof that she is guiding me.
Today I had tuna in a can , pasta with tomatoe sauce and peanut butter jelly sandwhich. Flip the list around and that was breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :) I am creative when it comes to eating. Although I did eat some muffins and cake icing today. mmmmmmmm but i worked it out by doing crunches, pushups and other physical activities. I want to run tomorrow. Running is so much fun, thats how you get the real women! Being able to show them you can run up a flight of stairs without being tired is a true gift. ehhh hmmm *clears throat * "STAMINA!".... Lets not get all vulgar here.
I spoke with my spiritual guides today and they were checking on my spiritual energy while I was washing clothes. They told me my energy was all over the place and that I needed to focus on one thing at a time. :P I seriously have a problem, because my energy surges. I have a restless nature, there is so much to do during this life time.but in order to move forward with my life i have to master one thing. I decided modeling and writing was the two I would go after. PErhaps modeling, I can make a lot for standing around and looking half decent for the world. I truly want to be a movie extra. I do have some confidence issues at times. The photographers are confusing or want to much. Im like imma dude all i have to do is stand there and look pretty. :P DAMN IT! Other than that I don't know . I decided that I was going to work on my other myspace page I haave up and running for modeling. Ill set up the links to everything sooner or later.
I also was tempted to organize and edit every blog I have written. I wanted to read and see where my heart truely lies. I found that I hate MIS and deskjobs. Selling stuff is something I hate to do. I don't like to lie either, that dormants my healing abilities. I was considering going back into soccer but I want to see what else i can master. Who knows!. Ill probably be a famous random kid running around the tv screen. Im 6'4 1/2 so hopefully ill find some interesting work in modeling. HMMM......... This is long as hell..
I got to speak with my twin today. She is fun to talk to . Her birthday is just a day before mine and we are both on the same wave legnths is really fun to know that you have an exact replica running around doing the same things your doing but in a different body haha. The signs weren't very clear to me today from the heavens but I guess finding focus was the main message.
OOOH I watched the shows on on Rappers and their wives. Really crappy show.
I need to defintely comment on this. I think E or something, that channel that are obessed with celeberties. Those people actually make money talking about famous people. What a waste of time I think. Money, sexy and drugs causes problems unnecessary ones. The reason the t.v was even on, roomate figure happend to watch it. I noticed the rappers were making so much money and buying teeth, jewelry, cars , diamond shoes. Im like what the hell. They claim they are trying to save the world with their music, but its making everyone even dumBer. Im sorry I have nothing against it but its like why are you puttin on an act just to make money and thats not even you. Thats highly fake to me and I could never do something like that. They have all these kids and they are going to grow up thinking its ok to call women "bitches and hoes". Run around wanting this and that, without proper education. :( so sad! . And those people really think they made it life. Thats true but there is more. They made it in a realm with no true value. Kids are dying each day in the caves trying dig out diamonds. There are rappers rapping about it and still buy diamonds. 3 million dollars worth. If it were me, and I had that type of cash. I would defintely open up a school to help teach the true meaning of life. The way I would make my money is to use my creativity. Hopefully that will inspire younger generations to use positive outlets whether it be anger or happiness. Allow their spirits grow naturally and not artificially. 3 million dollars can go to books and faciilities so that the children grow up finding their niche in the world of creation. Our field trips will be going to sites like egypt, gallapagos island, crystal hunting, creating art, enforcing love one another. Perhaps thats my mission in life. No matter what I am going to be myself through the process the whole way. Staying healthy and in shape is apart of that process, especially associating myself with the right people constantly. Not call a woman out her name just for publicity. Come on now. :P oh well. Thats my view, very different and I am going to stick to it.
I remember the days when I got pissed. I would put in a fighting game whether it be street fighter or bloody roar and beat the "SHI*! out of the enemies because I was so pissed at the world at times. Very creative outlet in deed. I recieved many secret charcters and it allowed me to beat more ass lol.
Ok, Im out, I wonder what adventure I have tomorrow. Pray that I stay focused on one thing at a time. I had to put away 5 books that I was reading. Books are distrations to me because I want to learn it ALL. is. MWHAHAHA. I guess I do need to find a woman to distract me from taking over the world.
The word for today is Durable - Able to exist for a long time without significant deterioration also: designed to be durable.
Example:
Jamaal is a durable young man. He was designed to take on the garbage of the world and transmute it into holy light for the future of all.
Note to self:.. You created a book based on psychic protection, meditation,and the element WATER info for your enlightenment. USE IT.
EVIL LAUGH: MWAH HA HA ..... HA HAHAH!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Debt Goddess
I know you hear me. I want to pray to you because I feel overwhelmed, my life would be a lot better if you would come down and poop on all the Loan Offices that I owe money to. Listen to my cry, I beg that you clear my name of any debt that I owe. It'll take me many life times to pay it off and I feel my skin wrinkling each day thinking about the Debt I owe the school. The world has programmed me to become a robot and now I have awoken. I recently tried to find a job, They told me I was to over qualified or to under qualified. So I gave up hope on finding peace working. Besides, IT jobs are so boring, but I learned never to give up once I start something, What a load of crap, I should have went with my gut feeling from the start. I could have taught myself all the stuff that I really wanted to know. I am so ashamed that I listened to those crackheads, they don't even want to help me :( They don't love me! They just want to brag about, me obtaining a degree, finding a good job. I found that I am an Angel sent to the planet to heal it. I am so imaginative and so are my fellow college comrades. They were told to get degrees, get a job, and live a boring life like our parents did. But we want to be forgiven for hearing such nonsense.
They were programmed to put us in debt, I really find myself lost and I even thought, that If I jumped off a cliff it would make it feel better. Make all the Debt go away. But If i died now, then I won't be able to eat Ice cream every Tuesday and Fish in the lake I always wanted to swim in. I want a free life, and the debt I've developed was because the world told me I was stupid, I couldn't obtain certain scholarship because I didn't pass the crooked test with the proper grades. My mind is much more expansive then that. Now I owe large sums of money because I truly awakened.
Debt Goddess, I promise I will clean your Nike's, and polish your rims whenever you erase these pains. If you want I will even bake you cupcakes, using Duck Eggs. Just the way you like it. I thought my family was going to help me with my school funds, but they are going through problems. I hate payments, And the people told me to live each day as if it were your last. I don't want to die in Traffic because some idiot drove the wrong way to work on the highway. That would be a meaningless death. I want to die doing what I love, and I have no knowledge of what I love anymore. If I were out of debt my comrades and I can finally find peace coloring in coloring books and painting Mustaches on Ronald McDonald for a living. Please Debt Goddess, Ill even bring Lassie back to life so we can watch so more shows together. HAHA.. Hear the prayer of the debted so-called college Graduates. We are the poorest Mofos on the planet. I wish I stuck to throwing rocks in the ocean and chopping coconuts into bite size pieces. PLEASE !!
POOP on the buildings.!! The only thing I truly learned in college is that, Cheating gets you by in life !! Working hard and making straight A's causes cancer!
They were programmed to put us in debt, I really find myself lost and I even thought, that If I jumped off a cliff it would make it feel better. Make all the Debt go away. But If i died now, then I won't be able to eat Ice cream every Tuesday and Fish in the lake I always wanted to swim in. I want a free life, and the debt I've developed was because the world told me I was stupid, I couldn't obtain certain scholarship because I didn't pass the crooked test with the proper grades. My mind is much more expansive then that. Now I owe large sums of money because I truly awakened.
Debt Goddess, I promise I will clean your Nike's, and polish your rims whenever you erase these pains. If you want I will even bake you cupcakes, using Duck Eggs. Just the way you like it. I thought my family was going to help me with my school funds, but they are going through problems. I hate payments, And the people told me to live each day as if it were your last. I don't want to die in Traffic because some idiot drove the wrong way to work on the highway. That would be a meaningless death. I want to die doing what I love, and I have no knowledge of what I love anymore. If I were out of debt my comrades and I can finally find peace coloring in coloring books and painting Mustaches on Ronald McDonald for a living. Please Debt Goddess, Ill even bring Lassie back to life so we can watch so more shows together. HAHA.. Hear the prayer of the debted so-called college Graduates. We are the poorest Mofos on the planet. I wish I stuck to throwing rocks in the ocean and chopping coconuts into bite size pieces. PLEASE !!
POOP on the buildings.!! The only thing I truly learned in college is that, Cheating gets you by in life !! Working hard and making straight A's causes cancer!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Is this all even real?
I am sitting down, carefully. While my thoughts disappear and appear randomly. Refusing to be a robot, but is that all Ill have to become in this life. I finally woke up and realized that life is moving in a direction that I don't want to be apart of. Maybe I just been in the wrong world and my world is till yet to be found. I need an explanation, I need my questions answered, I need to ask questions. Why does my body feel so heavy everytime I walk now. Why does my thoughts become so real that I can feel that coming in my brain. It gets heavier and heavier these days. I always been strong, but now that I don't even know what real is anymore. The life that I was shown is so boring, so unlively. CAn I just go to someone's house and paint, write, live in the woods for all eternity so that this can all just fade away. Will my reality become a prison or a place of freedom.
Today I want to be able to decide that my life is go to be free. Without this restrictiveness. I want my instincts to take over because they have been sadly placed out the window. But I know where to find them. I want to rely on those that will create my reality of freedom. I am so called on this mission of freedom and finding myself. I really dont know where to begin. I can't really rely on anyone, which I've been doing these 23 years of living. I relying on this spirit that has always been there. Inside me. I like to view my spirit as a hidden wolf, in a forest filled with white snow, and tall trees. My inner world thats delightful paradise that has been set on fire from the outer world. I don't blame them though, I blame myself , my thoughts should be light as a butterfly right now. Just drifitng away into a far away land. Of course their will be storms on the way. Of course theyll be crack heads singing "Money is rules the world". I don't believe that's true. My spirit knows the truth, but I've been disconnected from it for so long that It's showing me the way. I have to rely on it and take caution because my thoughts have become heavy.
From time to time, I view my self now communicating with myself as a Kid. Telling me things now as if I were his friend, lost brother, or dear father figure. When I was a kid, I was sensative , gentle, shy, heart filled with gold light, and then I become this shallow, judgemental person, that lacks trust in anything. I've grown to not trust myself at times because I don't really know myself. But the child in me says, Take time. Talk to me and get to know me, I have all the answers you seek. It just takes time to get through to you, for you to hear and embrace the moments. Only if I had a sword or something that I can trust. I want to learn to trust myself, instead of just going through the motions. I want to LIVE, creatively. Draw , Read, Paint, Create wonderful music and write about it each day. YEa, Im starting to get the messsages now from this inner child. I want to sit by moonlit beaches and kick around coconuts and write stories about a "Cherry that couldn't be red" get it. Well i don't . :).... I never knew I had all these abilities until now. Well lets say I knew it, I just never embraced it until now. I will be remarkable because I am ambitious, my heart lies in the arts. Although my mind slowly is slipping away from the conformity that was instilled in it. The thoughts of being behind a desk working for someone has been set on fire and tossed off a cliff and then on the bottom of the cliff. There is a nuclear acid that will dissolve that thought as well. So what now.........
CREATE CREATE CREATE.... That what reality is, Reality is a creation. If I create a reality then I become creator. If I create many realities, I've become a creator of many realities. Now rich wife where are you. So I can create. :).
Today I want to be able to decide that my life is go to be free. Without this restrictiveness. I want my instincts to take over because they have been sadly placed out the window. But I know where to find them. I want to rely on those that will create my reality of freedom. I am so called on this mission of freedom and finding myself. I really dont know where to begin. I can't really rely on anyone, which I've been doing these 23 years of living. I relying on this spirit that has always been there. Inside me. I like to view my spirit as a hidden wolf, in a forest filled with white snow, and tall trees. My inner world thats delightful paradise that has been set on fire from the outer world. I don't blame them though, I blame myself , my thoughts should be light as a butterfly right now. Just drifitng away into a far away land. Of course their will be storms on the way. Of course theyll be crack heads singing "Money is rules the world". I don't believe that's true. My spirit knows the truth, but I've been disconnected from it for so long that It's showing me the way. I have to rely on it and take caution because my thoughts have become heavy.
From time to time, I view my self now communicating with myself as a Kid. Telling me things now as if I were his friend, lost brother, or dear father figure. When I was a kid, I was sensative , gentle, shy, heart filled with gold light, and then I become this shallow, judgemental person, that lacks trust in anything. I've grown to not trust myself at times because I don't really know myself. But the child in me says, Take time. Talk to me and get to know me, I have all the answers you seek. It just takes time to get through to you, for you to hear and embrace the moments. Only if I had a sword or something that I can trust. I want to learn to trust myself, instead of just going through the motions. I want to LIVE, creatively. Draw , Read, Paint, Create wonderful music and write about it each day. YEa, Im starting to get the messsages now from this inner child. I want to sit by moonlit beaches and kick around coconuts and write stories about a "Cherry that couldn't be red" get it. Well i don't . :).... I never knew I had all these abilities until now. Well lets say I knew it, I just never embraced it until now. I will be remarkable because I am ambitious, my heart lies in the arts. Although my mind slowly is slipping away from the conformity that was instilled in it. The thoughts of being behind a desk working for someone has been set on fire and tossed off a cliff and then on the bottom of the cliff. There is a nuclear acid that will dissolve that thought as well. So what now.........
CREATE CREATE CREATE.... That what reality is, Reality is a creation. If I create a reality then I become creator. If I create many realities, I've become a creator of many realities. Now rich wife where are you. So I can create. :).
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Voyage to my true-self
How will I succeed? Is the question I am asking myself. Today I decided to go ahead and journey to find my true self although I am very anxious to find out what is going to happen. Maybe this trip is probably the riskiest thing I ever done during my life time. I've been through far worst things in my life that no one will understand. No, I didn't have a near death experience or anything but I am following something that people have disconnected from. Intuition is something I find as my best friend. My gut feeling, or God self others call it, is something i seek to stregnthen.
This gut feeling is telling me to full express myself to it's limit in which how I want to express it. Not what others want, but what I want to do. I don't really look through a whole situation like other see it because I am an "Indigo" Adult. I can see things from beginning to end, although experiencing things are a lot better. I can think of 100 scenarios off the top of my head, talking about things to people that don't understand is meaningless because the world likes to talk down on people. They seem to talk down because they weren't taught any better in this world, but on a another topic.
Well my thoughts are telling me to move forward and release the attachments that I have because they made me into this creature that is limited and always self-doubting himself. My teacher will be my gut feeling and I will be devoted to it. I am leaving behind this cave that I put myself in. I smell something rotting as if it were a dead squirell buried in the walls. I couldn't find the source yet but oh well. I have to full express myself. The way I know that is through my body, but sculpting it with continuous excersise and maintaining a healthy diet. I also read and study spirituality to unite the body and mind. Writing is a passion and my therapy. Although I am a terrible speller and my grammar doesn't own up to traditional standards. I don't care, I write anyway. hmmm. Well I like to paint and color in coloring books. I like being a kid, and will join anyone that loves to do the same thing. I like walking in the creeks barefoot. I like walking barefoot with my shirt off in cold rain. I know that Its mind over matter and I won't get sick as long as I take care of my thoughts and body.
The journey I am setting out on is the removal of possesions that will not suite the lifestyle that I wish to live. I honestly don't want to many posessions because I am a traveler at heart and won't need to establish anything until I get old and wrinkly. Not even then, I can see myself in a hut in Japan writing stories under a cherry blossom tree. I probably won't even get old, maybe ill just get wiser and eat pure, so that my body can stay pure for as long as possible. That's going to be fun, but I don't want to think about getting old. I want to think about how I am going to live today. Although my actions don't correspond with my thoughts sometimes because I know the manifestation process and I dish out to much junk to the universe. Giving it mixed signals.
I woke up and realized that I was trained by the school system to become a person that I don't want to be. I am glad I woke up, maybe my efforts are futile but I never had a dream until now. I never wanted to be an old fat dad with so many kids. I knew I wanted to be good at something, at many things. I want to be remembered by people that an spiritual being living a human experience can live freely and properously. I am a lover of different worlds. I often see myself on a hill next to a tree watching a full moon, rise, and fall. OR even next to a beach. I like to drift into those worlds and stay there for a while. But I have so much work to do in this world, I think its ridiculous. I want to go in a trance and let a spirit come into me and do all the work for me lol. But I like living through experience. It's hard to explain. I'm getting hungry writing this.
BUt the main focus of the story is to go by intuition and live life to the fullest. Taking care of oneself is the best thing anyone can do. Don't live for anyone, live for yourself. Living for yourself sets a greater example instead of living for someone where they can use you for whatever their needs are. :) funny that I awoke and see the world around me as a place of limitation, but yet we are suppose to be free. It's sad and I really can help, but at the same time, i really won't feel alive. I want to just go and view all the historical sights and learn things. OFten times my ego gets in the way and says. Your family will be jealous and ask you for things. It'll be my choice to say yes or no though eh? Well I know I have to look out for myself and find out my reason for living. Using my intution as my Guide will help a great deal.
I might Fly on a Dragon's back and just go far far away.
This gut feeling is telling me to full express myself to it's limit in which how I want to express it. Not what others want, but what I want to do. I don't really look through a whole situation like other see it because I am an "Indigo" Adult. I can see things from beginning to end, although experiencing things are a lot better. I can think of 100 scenarios off the top of my head, talking about things to people that don't understand is meaningless because the world likes to talk down on people. They seem to talk down because they weren't taught any better in this world, but on a another topic.
Well my thoughts are telling me to move forward and release the attachments that I have because they made me into this creature that is limited and always self-doubting himself. My teacher will be my gut feeling and I will be devoted to it. I am leaving behind this cave that I put myself in. I smell something rotting as if it were a dead squirell buried in the walls. I couldn't find the source yet but oh well. I have to full express myself. The way I know that is through my body, but sculpting it with continuous excersise and maintaining a healthy diet. I also read and study spirituality to unite the body and mind. Writing is a passion and my therapy. Although I am a terrible speller and my grammar doesn't own up to traditional standards. I don't care, I write anyway. hmmm. Well I like to paint and color in coloring books. I like being a kid, and will join anyone that loves to do the same thing. I like walking in the creeks barefoot. I like walking barefoot with my shirt off in cold rain. I know that Its mind over matter and I won't get sick as long as I take care of my thoughts and body.
The journey I am setting out on is the removal of possesions that will not suite the lifestyle that I wish to live. I honestly don't want to many posessions because I am a traveler at heart and won't need to establish anything until I get old and wrinkly. Not even then, I can see myself in a hut in Japan writing stories under a cherry blossom tree. I probably won't even get old, maybe ill just get wiser and eat pure, so that my body can stay pure for as long as possible. That's going to be fun, but I don't want to think about getting old. I want to think about how I am going to live today. Although my actions don't correspond with my thoughts sometimes because I know the manifestation process and I dish out to much junk to the universe. Giving it mixed signals.
I woke up and realized that I was trained by the school system to become a person that I don't want to be. I am glad I woke up, maybe my efforts are futile but I never had a dream until now. I never wanted to be an old fat dad with so many kids. I knew I wanted to be good at something, at many things. I want to be remembered by people that an spiritual being living a human experience can live freely and properously. I am a lover of different worlds. I often see myself on a hill next to a tree watching a full moon, rise, and fall. OR even next to a beach. I like to drift into those worlds and stay there for a while. But I have so much work to do in this world, I think its ridiculous. I want to go in a trance and let a spirit come into me and do all the work for me lol. But I like living through experience. It's hard to explain. I'm getting hungry writing this.
BUt the main focus of the story is to go by intuition and live life to the fullest. Taking care of oneself is the best thing anyone can do. Don't live for anyone, live for yourself. Living for yourself sets a greater example instead of living for someone where they can use you for whatever their needs are. :) funny that I awoke and see the world around me as a place of limitation, but yet we are suppose to be free. It's sad and I really can help, but at the same time, i really won't feel alive. I want to just go and view all the historical sights and learn things. OFten times my ego gets in the way and says. Your family will be jealous and ask you for things. It'll be my choice to say yes or no though eh? Well I know I have to look out for myself and find out my reason for living. Using my intution as my Guide will help a great deal.
I might Fly on a Dragon's back and just go far far away.
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