Mind Dive

I dove into my mind a little bit just to see what's going on. Why do I feel stressed even though I am living an ideal life right now. Hardly any stress, warm clothes, food, and shelter.

My bills are practically paid for just by working at this new job teaching English in Korea.

During the mind dive I focused on why I feel scattered. I tend to organize my thoughts and put them in to glass boxes and observe them. In the fun box I saw random things like going on adventures, playing video games, and drawing. I notice that these fun filled activities weren't finished though. The drawings had missing pieces and the video games weren't played to the last level. Yea, maybe my lack of grounded-ness and being mentally scattered is affecting some of my happiness for now, but it'll get better through time

Then I had a random thought session. I saw a glass with beads of water next to it. A fly was trying to get in but it couldn't. This fly wasn't an ordinary fly but it had sparkling wings. This visual only lasted for a few seconds.

I had another visual of being surrounded by several layers of glass. The room was completely white and empty but the sun was in the sky. I don't know why I was in this glass but the warmth of the sun kept me sane in that box.

Afterwards,I saw my self in a tiny room where the real grass covered the floor in a complete white room. I felt the soft grass under my feet while wearing pajamas pants. How comfortable!

So after analyzing my thoughts I feel confined a little but still feel warm inside. I know that the sun is always shinning and there is many new experiences out there for me. I may put myself in these see through glasses, they will easily break with a nice kick or punch. I will be ok, I've always been ok. I just have to place pleasant thoughts into my head. It's going to be a long winter.

I often wish a woman with a gorgeous voice would just sing to me and sing to me often.

That's all. It's not as poetic as I want it to be but I guess this will do. At least I am writing a little again. :D

Meditation Blog 1

Tonight I decided to meditate under the waning moon/full moon.

I sat out at the pier next to the sea. The sea sparkled into the horizon and the moon shined brightly. During my meditation or visions I asked for focus from my animal spirits,planets, and moon. I grounded to the earth and visualized protect
ion from the water spirits. Waves protected me from any spirits that would disturb me during this self-activation period.

Just before closing my eyes, a rooster crowed and it's voice could be heard miles away. Rooster's have been sending me messages the past two days lately.The call of the rooster let me know that I was at the right place at the right time.


What I saw as my eyes closed was a woman that recongnized as my spirit mother. She told was very beautiful and her body was outlined by the light of the moon and her eyes were without pupils.

She floated towards me from a pitch black place as her white hair dangled in the wind while and gave me a big hug. She told me that before I could start anything , was to know that I was loved. It was the most important thing before any thing else could take place.

She gently placed her arms around me and I cried on her shoulders and told her thanks. She told me that she was my true mother and she'd always be right beside me guiding me into the right directions. I could only cry during the visualization and feel the protection of being guided by my soul mother or moon lit mother.

That is all I needed and I was told to slow down, relax, and not to push myself. I've made it and there isn't anything to prove to anyone on this planet. I came to enjoy, relax, and be the artist that I am. To see what beautiful life I can develop during this time.

Later on she turned into a white tiger and then a dolphin. I am guessing these are the spirits that followed along beside her to guide me to my paradise.

The Noble, The White Haired Wise Clan.

I found this a little later.

Feel Alive

Today I feel really alive. My spiritual guides, animal guides,and everyone has sent me a lot of energy and guidance. It's very overwhelming but I do want to mark this day where I feel more at peace than I ever been before. :D

Adios,
Light

Discovering My Life's Work

My mind is racing about, a thousand miles per hour. I thought I would just squeeze a little bit of my thoughts on to paper as I hesitate to just live an ordinary life.

Today I am asking myself "Why am I against the majority of the world's ideas and philosophies. I can not tell anyone what goes through my mind these days because its beyond comprehension. I think and ask myself, do I look like an ordinary human being and where are my extra-ordinary people in this world. I really need them bad with their out-of-the box ideas and philosophies.

During Late October I found myself back in Atlanta trying to get my life together. The things I've gotten accomplished were unheard of just a few months ago. I finally gotten my car registered so the cops would stop me and put me in jail. In order for me to get the car registered I had to get my car to pass the emissions. It failed the first time and I had to get it repaired in the Fulton county. In order to get the car fixed I had to accumulate some money, and that was a hard task, because I've been in depression for about 6 months, and what got me out of it, was the ability to move in with my Uncle in Atlanta.

Now my car is complete, my computer adapter has been swapped out, I have gas money to roam around Atlanta in order to seek a job. I am currently creating a couple of Resume drafts so that I can finally print them out and get a job that doesn't require much labor work. I am a thinker and a strategic artist. I don't do hard labor unless it's lifting weights or running up mountains. I like to achieve personal goals when it comes to that. Could you believe that people said I could work as a part time Box lifter to just put money in my pocket? Instead of starting my own business, writing, or creating something to benefit human kind. Lifting boxes is probably the next thing in line for me to do. I do somehow get offended when people try to take a shot at my intelligence. I guess its my fault for keeping my life secret and what not. Oh well. I haven't been spending much time home.

I am not sure why I get so offended, but time ticks and I can present myself really well. But I remember obtaining mindless jobs and the employers asked why was I there? I told them that I was easily persuaded by family and friends to work this "Shit job". lol. I guess It's because after graduation I had to hit full throttle and scatter my energies all over the place.

I vowed to not take those turn of events. My friends suggested that I valet park cars and travel 50 miles to coach soccer each day in the 23 degree weather. That doesn't make me better than that person. It just makes me a different type of person. Something will work out, because I am magnetizing a job to me. :P. Why would I do that? I guess secretly, I am a homebody and I don't mind staying home and just dwindling on the internet. I know I have to do something with my life, but with these suggestions I think I need to find heavy and motivational beings with big ideas. The ideas from my other friends were good. AND why am I even calling them friends. Everyone is only an associate until further notice. I had to deal with a lot of betrayal, single-mindedness, and just shitty situations with these people.

Everyone thinks that everything is cool between them, but I can act my way through life as if nothing were happening. But I found out through my depression that I did not have an outlet to express my worries, wants, needs, desires. I found my outlet is in writing and speaking with a chosen few that I found along my path. Now, I am quite a loner and haven't really had any in-depth conversations with people lately.

I am afraid that my brain may fall out with their mode of thinking. Remember I am a Virgo, so criticizing is my forty. I figure that I am to nice of a guy and people want to use me as a door mat sometimes. They feel that they can just say anything they want to me, but I learned to just use body language to show my uncomfortable level. There has to be a group of heavy thinkers that I can join. All we would think, and not speak at all. That would be nice lol. Listening to music would be our way to concentrate on thinking.

Today, I became frustrated with myself because I had a pre-screening over the phone for a Version Control Position, and I messed up by telling them about the programs that I used that I hardly had any experience in. Plus I do not; know how to make a resume, because I don't know what direction I am going in. Besides I don't settle. It's like when I do have something; I find a way to get out of what I have to find something better. The recruiter told me that my resume needed a bit more work, and I had to describe what I did at each company, and the programs I used. Not just describe the programs in general. Computers are fascinating, but I am a lot more drawn to the natural world. I will need to find something in Environmental Work or Animals. I thought I would be fascinated with web design, writing, and photography. But I also wanted to try soccer for about 2-3 years with a semi-pro team..

The opportunities are endless but I am just thinking where I should start. I am used to having a partner in crime but I am hanging solo and won't recruit another best friend until I found someone worthy. It'd probably end up being a be a beautiful female since I attracted to the opposite sex, and I don’t need a lot of people around me.

Well, the more I think about working the more I want to through up. I haven't worked in almost a year now, and it's been great living the life of a philosopher, reader, and thinker. It's not like I don't do anything, there are countless books that I have read that I usually post on my face book. I read thousands of articles on Astrology, Inspiration, Motivation, and Spirituality. I would share with people my ideas, but it usually goes over their heads so I have to find some kids to influence in a positive way.

So what Is my life's work? I am not sure but I do know Venus rules my birth chart. She is associated with Beauty, Charm, Love, and I think Modeling would still be a great avenue, but I'd have to find someone that would pay for my food and gym member ship. I rather work out 24/7 and not set foot in an office. Becoming a body builder/writer/model/ male jigaloo sounded good lol. J.p about the jigaloo part. I enjoy just being to myself at all times, and when I think of working for someone, it feels like my body turns in to stone and I do not want to move. No matter how much I want to move on. It's like rather turn into a tree instead. I'll soon get over and I won't hit the next person that just says get anything, because I know where their mind is at, it’s practically inside their own heads and not in mine.

Today I was supposed to be gentle with myself, which was recommended by the Deer Card that I picked up from my Avalon Oracle cards. Being Gentle with myself would be to just listen to music all day, run about 5 laps around a track, work out in the weight room, read about 5 books in a day, then eat a good meal, watch a movie, and then visit a national park lol.

Oh, that reminds me I visited Stone Mountain Park Yesterday; It was very peaceful up there. I climbed to the top with my feet, and I walked very fast too. I went Monday and Wednesday. The view of the sun set touched my heart tremendously as I felt that I was closer to the sky, and the flow of deep space. I saw the Atlanta sky-line, and sat down just thinking about how cold it was. I sat in an isolated part of the mountain where it would be hard to see me. I sat there just asking the Stone Mountain for it's strength in hopes that I could find stability in myself. I feel the more I am around the mountain and become in tune with it, the more grounded I will feel. Only time will tell.

Well that is enough; I will pursue my job search in hopes of finding employment with the right company and people. Or just end up making my own business. :) May there be peace on Venus!

I suppose

Today was a good day! Kind of, I went out the house finally. I think this has been my second day in a row to step outside the cave I put myself in. I actually saw life for a while lol. I have not written in a while and I know that's not like me to write every 3 weeks or so. Wait that is like me? I have been pretty inconsistent with my blogs, but I have been neglecting my urges to write. Well here it goes

The movies of life has been the hot topic in my life.

I went to see the movie "Star Wars: The Clone Wars". I loved the Jedi Knights lol, I really think I should be one of them in real life. I know I am crazy, but who wouldn't want to be one. You can manipulate people's minds, using invisible force to crush people, have electricity shoot out your hands, and just jump all over the place defying gravity. That's what I am talking about!. I practice a lot of meditation and I see myself as a warrior in white with clear skin made of light filaments, perhaps that's my original origin.

I took a loook at some books today to, comic books on Star Wars and light meditation. There was a book on Remote Viewing, I think I am going to use my mediation settings for that, it had very useful tips on there. :). How enlightening, well I can imagine things, so we'll see what comes about. Hopefully I am disciplined to write down my thoughts and keep myself in Nirvana!

Yesterday I took a peak at "Atlantis: The Lost Empire". I am definitely one of them, they have an affinity for crystals and I have a large gathering of them in a wooden bowl. I should meditate more often, Lemuria is also a place I have probably spent some life times because I came across a site of the Blue-Ray children and it described me very well. It was a precise and to the point , but I know I am a warrior of light came to destroy some old belief systems that serve no purpose in the new world.

Slowly, but surely something new will occur on earth. Not sure what it's going to be but I am starting to feel it more and more these days.

Lately, I've also been hard on my job search ( not really). I tend to trick myself in believing I am trying to find a job long and hard but I've been totally unsuccessful lately. I mean what is truly out there for me, because I am always bored all the time with people and conversing with people that only associate themselves with money. I can't ignore them, because they would get on my nerves even more. I tend to worry about meaningless things, but oh well.

I miss my old life where I got to eat everything and paint. Go to the parks and museums anytime I wanted, where is that life again. Now that I am finding myself more and more these days, I feel that I am going to levitate soon. I am devoting three 20 minute sessions on meditation. Hopefully I'll stick to my regimen. I want to focus on getting out of my labyrinth, because crap keeps coming up keeping me in isolation. I am about tired of it, Saturn should be out of my sign soon, so hopefully things will lighten up after such a thing. Maybe I am not using it's energy wisely enough, but oh well. I made incredible changes, I am just looking for something fulfilling.

Well, this is all I will write, I feel better the more I write and talk about things that will better my future as a General or CEO of a company for large jelly beans lol. :D OK, I'm off to write random words in my small notebook. I love to write !!!! I am going to watch movies tomorrow to!!!. They are so great, well the ones that mean things, not that drama crap about love, screw that. Oh, and Ill raise my job search strength to .02 percent. I hate to work, maybe after I get a job, I can take a lucky girl out on a date finally lol.



Adios Samurais

Solar Eclipse Day (New Moon)

Sweet Misery - Amel Larrieux - song has nothing to do with what I am talking about but it's nice :D

Today is the day of the Solar Eclipse. New moon is today, so it's a super new beginning. I wish I was in the areas that are able to view it. There is suppose to be a lunar eclipse later on this month as well. I wonder what that means, because having two eclipses are suppose to have some deep spiritual meaning I think. I think it's time to soak up the energies that is provided by the moon presenting it's self in front of the sun.

My days are totally switched around. Instead of waking up at 7am. I wake up at 7pm now and go to bed around 11am. I decided to make that switch instinctively because I wanted to spend more time looking at the stars. Yesterday, I got a glimpse of a UFO. I know it wasn't a plane because it wasn't blinking. I laid in the grass gazing in the stars like I always do, and then suddenly I saw this "Star", or bright dot floating around. It started moving slowly like a plane and then moments later it became very bright and disappeared. A few minutes later I saw a plane in another part of the sky, but it was blinking and moving like a plane. So, that plane confirmed it , that I did not see an ordinary object in the sky. So, neat, I guess my veils are beginning to tear away.

Earlier, I saw a shooting star zoom across the sky. I made a wish upon it and hopefully it comes true. I love nighttime, that's when I feel most alive and relax. I am still incorporating the ideas of being a night dweller instead of moving through out the sun lit days. I get to see the sun rise as well, which is fulfilling to me. The sun wakes during the hours of the dragon, so that's neat! I walked, laid in the grass and just sat there letting my thoughts come together. I really don't do much anyway, because I love living the simple life. It's been 8 days since I wrote my last blog, and It only felt like it was yesterday.

Time is moving at an incredible rate. It's like how can this be without any warning, those that are aware of this. I wonder what they are doing in order to harness this new time speed. It doesn't make sense, but I am glad because I need to hurry up with my mission.

Today I ended up at Books-a-million and gazed across some comics. I took a glimpse at the Mariner, or something. A comic about the King of Atlantis. It was pretty interesting because I figured I had a couple of past lives in Atlantis which seemed very interesting, so I also took a look at you tube videos that spoke about Lemuria and Atlantis, I love those stories. True or not true, I like fantasy anyway. I believe it's true and whats going on in the world is so outdated and boring. War is totally over-rated lol. After that I decided to call on my spirit and imagined myself by the Orion's belt. I started hearing a voice in my head saying. " I am Kamara from distant realms". I know I am a writer and I am suppose to make up a lot of things, then I suddenly heard the sound of water. I didn't freak out though but it was very interesting.



Oh, I decided to apply to the Peace Corp. I am always helping everybody and their momma with problems instead of my own, so why not make my time useful and travel everywhere doing it where it's needed instead of giving my powers to people that drain the crap out of me. No more of that, I promise myself!! . I am single without any offsprings running around. At least I don't think I do lol, I just have myself to worry about. It'll be a good opportunity for a new challenge.I consider it a project to see what I am truely capable of when it comes to spreading love and wisdom, I can learn several languages while I am at it

. I hope they take me in. The only thing that would hold me back is my debt :(. It'll take forever for me to pay it off because of my attitude towards society, I don't want to work a meaningless job and that's all that I see currently. I am still in the releasing of the old beliefs process and it's taking a lot of time, jeez. I just want it to end already, but I figure you can't rush perfection haha.I figure traveling around the world helping people will provide me with enough inspiration to create stories, or perhaps help me with a high level position, who knows. Traveling will give myself a challenge and much recongnition which I need for myself. I am bound to be a bad ass in the future. The numbers says I am cool, with the Life path of 7 I also discovered I have master numbers in my numerology chart. 11 and 22 pops up all over the place. Everyone should google, numerology if your intersted.

Well, I am glad I wrote today, because I always feel good when I write and just let my fingers type away and away. I wonder what kind of thoughts the solar eclipse will bring today because it's wonderful to see those types of things in the sky. It's different, better than seeing rising gas prices in my opinion, or dramatic people worrying about silly things. :p

I have to write two essays for the Peacecorp. That should take like 2 minutes because I type super fast. I need something new and exciting in my life. Come new life, come to me now! I will be kind and generous.

The Lemuria Video I watched:

Misty Rain!!

DUnno who he is, but i like his theme!

Today was a very stormy day. I did not wake up until 3 pm today. The ascension process is very exhausting, becuase I have the feeling that I am not here in this world anymore but I am going to keep acting like it for the sake of my body. :P Thunderclaps, Lightning bolts, and monsoon like rains came pouring down on the city today. The earth is getting heavy, but she is cleansing herself at all times. It was actually kind of scary to because I kept waking up out my sleep, just incase a torando or something started whiz by, but I instantly casted protection around the house just so that stuff won't happen.


I had a desire to read my Computer Security book and a few others to help motivate me to protect myself and gain my personal power back. Yes, I compare computer security with personal security. Computers are just like humans, but a different expression. There are your spammers, hackers, and others that come into your life to take your resources, energy, spam you with a bunch of garbage just for their sake. In the end it doesn't help you at all, they are just unloading worthless crap on you just for their personal satisfication. I am developing a mental virus protection as I upgrade myself into new realms. I know exactly what to look out for and lately I've been locking down myself waiting for the right time to spring up again. My computer has been my savior for the past year and I am thankful for it. It allowed me to connect with like minded people that have helped me with my long process.! :D

So all day was kind of disturbing for a while, all the crying, the raining, and I met an Asshole that claimed to be a spiritual teacher. He tried to be-little me every time he got. One of the topic of discussion was about working out to increase my brain capacity. He told me working out has nothing to do with developing your IQ and brain capacity. I believe that It did, because it allows the blood flow to your brain to increase and maximizes energy. People can use this energy for anything, I choose it to read and think better.

People brought up IQ test, but I feel that those tests are man made. The ones that are running the country right now don't even have high IQ, the ones with the highest are more likely slaves of society, holding on to their scores ranting about how much smarter they are in comparison. I also, told him it was hard for me to mingle with people and he had the nerve to call me a People Hater, I am like what? So yea, although people claim they are spiritual teachers, does not mean they are of the highest good.That guy was just old and fat probably with a bald head, ugly, I don't blame him for being angry lol? He started going off on other people as well. I bet they know his true colors now, I some how can bring out the worst in people and the best. Lucky me!

Watch out for these false priests, even Popes try to get their freak on with little boys, which is sick but the parents of these children do not teach their kids any better :(. They need to learn to defend their bodies and not let some old wrinkled guy come onto them, its just plain gross!. The lesson I've learned is not to waste my time. I actually told the guy that he bored me and he kicked me out the chat lol. Some teacher, reminds of elementary school, I used to crack on all my teachers because they were boring. Yes, I am definitely a system buster, mainly because I don't give a damn about a lot of things. I am just glad to be alive and I'll work myself around situations using my mind without fear or doubt. The universe always lines it's self up for the best.

I don't claim myself to be this ultimate holy person either, I don't need to be, I am not trying to be a priest, I just like to say whats on my mind whether it's right or wrong. I'll learn! XD. Yea, it was a troublesome day, my friend is sad because she did not graduate in 4 years, she will be graduating in six instead. She kept changing her major and became frustrated. I feel that we don't know what we wanna do with our lives because society has changed so much, there is no way someone can do one thing for the rest of their lives. It's been done in the past but the revolution is here. Multi-tasking at it's finest."Oh, I just saw an orb". I gave her my personal healing session, by explaining that she has done hard work and don't cast what she has learned in the past. She can be a power house in the future with all the skills that she has learned. I feel that a degree is a piece of paper and it doesn't define anyone, an object that is more or less a personal booster letting society know your seirous and motivated about yo STUFF! . School is boring as hell though.

I don't want this to be a long blog. But it was sort of a gloomy day and I played Guild Wars today which was a lot of fun. My D/Me is now a level 15 power house , he jumped 4 levels in the past two days I think? I am not sure, but it's mainly about skills in that game anyway. It's just a lot of fun to have tons of energy and health so that I won't die so easily. Dying is lame! lol Living is great! Only if your hanging with the right crowd, because people make life miserable and I honestly feel that you can catch cancer by just looking at those types of people lol. :P That's just me, I am sensative like that. I only desire to hang out with the cool kids, the litte people are the ones that believe that they are living just to die. The cool ones don't worry about age, dying, and finding there isn't anything to do. You find those people aging a lot less than most.

Here is my Character from Guild Wars!!! (I have two actually, but I'll post him later)